Part I: Half a Million Dollar Babies...

As the babies' birthday time has approached, I've definitely had a full heart reflecting on this past year and all the blessings our family has received. I've heard mentioned before that some people think having multiples is sad because the babies don't get nearly as much love and affection as one baby would. Love is funny in that way though. You can love someone more and more everyday and never run out! Having three babies hasn't split the love we give...it's just multiplied it and allowed us to love more than we ever thought possible. Three times more to be exact!

We were scared last summer. Scared that all our precaution would be for not. That the babies were going to come too early and we would have a frightful road ahead of us. Then the fear turned to impatience as we were just SO READY to have my triplet pregnancy be over. Then the impatience turned to annoyance. Annoyance with doctors and nurses who kept interrupting, poking, prodding, pushing, asking questions, stating the risk of having babies prematurely, etc... Then the annoyance turned to relief as we reached 32 weeks and knew our babies' chance of survival was far greater than ten weeks before. Then the relief turned into anxiety as I was being wheeled into the delivery room to meet our trio. Then our anxiety turned into joy as we heard each of our babies cry for the first time. Then our emotions came full circle because we were very scared again. Scared that having three new babies at home was going to be the craziest time of our lives. And believe me, it was. Now one year later, our fear has turned into complete exhaustion. :)

I remember everything so clearly about the day they were born. It was a little rainy and my Dad was flying in that afternoon so I was worried about his flight. Clark's sister's family was also stopping through Dallas so I was nervous for them to see how big and awful I looked. I watched my normal shows (Home Improvement and According to Jim) that morning and then I had an unexpected visitor! My next door neighbor had just talked to Clark and found out why she hadn't seen me in a couple months. She rushed to the hospital as soon as she could to see how I was. We had a great visit and when I saw her a couple weeks later, she had knit the most beautiful blankets for the babies. A few hours after she left, my Dad arrived! I was so glad to have family around because that meant that my time in the hospital was soon coming to an end. I still had nine days left before my scheduled c-section. We talked for a while then my perinatologist came to do his weekly exam. Because I had been seen by this doctor so many times, I knew everything he evaluated at each exam. I even knew all the acronyms he used so that I would be able to tell if something was wrong (his assistants would transcribe what he was saying). When he got to Zachary's amniotic sac he said to his assistant that the deep spherical pocket was 1.7 cm. I knew that was bad because it should never be below a 2. He went on with his exam but I knew a discussion was coming. Once finished, he got up and started walking out! Then he turned around and asked how I would feel if I had to give birth that day...if risking early delivery would be preferable to Zachary taking the risk because of his low fluid level. I replied, "I feel fine about it if you do." Then he left. My hopes were not up by any means because I didn't really know what he was implying. A few hours and a piece of peanut butter toast later, I received a call from my OB. He said that he and the peri had talked and felt that delivery should happen right away...as in the next two hours. Zachary needed to come out as he had only grown one ounce in the two weeks prior and was obviously not thriving. My OB was slightly concerned that I had just eaten but figured bread and peanut butter wouldn't be too big a deal (typically you fast before a c-section and because I didn't, everything came back up post surgery). We decided to proceed anyway. Once I hung up the phone I put my hands in the air and said, "we're having some babies today!!!" My Dad had been napping and I startled him by my shout out. He was probably super confused.

Then...it was like a whirlwind. My room was bombarded with people...nurses, doctors, an anesthesiologist, delivery nurse, prep nurse, phlebotomist, registration secretary, etc... I was signing papers, having my blood drawn, and getting an IV all at the same time. An IV that was inserted improperly TWICE. Three times a charm I guess. During all the commotion I started contracting every 2-3 minutes for the first time in my pregnancy. Finally, I got up and went in the bathroom so I could breathe for a second. Clark's sister arrived once the whirlwind died down so I was able to say hi and take some pictures. We were glad they randomly happened to be there for the big day. Then I was wheeled out of my room...NEVER TO RETURN AGAIN! It was so liberating although I was nervous for the surgery. Try bending forward while pregnant with triplets for an epidural insertion. Not so easy. She kept telling me to bend more but I literally could not. So that process took longer than I would've liked but eventually I felt numb and just enjoyed lying FLAT on my back as opposed to my side. Clark joined me at my head and we all know the rest. Three cries for three babies. Unforgettable.

This past year has been, like those couple hours before delivery, a whirlwind. Those first few months are still just a crazy blur for me. The babies were so little and fragile then. I specifically remember those months being particularly hard because we couldn't really ENJOY the babies. We wanted to...we wanted to hug and hold each one as long as possible. But with so little time for anything else, it was more of just getting them fed and getting through the day. Diapers, feeding, diapers, feeding, diapers, feeding. No sleep for the weary.

Clark and I were recently talking about how I was crazy this last year. I can laugh about it now but seriously, I was crazy. For example: He would swaddle a baby then I would reswaddle because I never thought he did it tight enough. Every time he fed and burped a baby, I always spewed out correcting comments on how to do those tasks. The babies bottles were boiled everyday for fear that one of our tiny angels would get sick. There were two lists kept 24/7 of diapers and bottles and I would review them everyday. When I poured bottles, I measured and remeasured to make sure I was pouring EXACTLY the right amount of milliliters. We NEVER deviated from our feeding schedule otherwise I felt like things were out of control. Leah first, followed by Zachary 30 minutes later, then Caleb 30 minutes after that. The list goes on and on of how neurotic I was about everything. I use the word 'was' lightly because old habits die hard. :)

I always knew I was a little uptight during my college years as far as things needing to be organized and micromanaged. When these babies arrived though, that part of me kicked into hyperdrive. I'm so grateful my husband is patient and understanding. He kept me grounded and still encourages me daily. We've actually seen such a positive change in our relationship since the babies arrived. Usually the stress, lack of sleep, and differences in parenting styles can be cause for conflict. However, we feel more like a team, working together in every aspect. Always on the same page and constantly discussing solutions to tough problems. We've been a team since we said 'I do' but it has felt so much more solid this past year. We've enjoyed experiencing this change and are closer as a result.

It was really really hard for me to NEED help to care for the babies in the beginning rather than just want help. I HAD to rely on others because I just didn't have enough hands or energy. Before the babies were born I, along with other multiple moms, had this superwoman complex and I felt like I could do it all! Then reality hit and like I said, we NEEDED help. Our wonderful families sacrificed and joined us in the craziest months of our lives. We could not have done it without them. Most nights I would stay up until around 6am when someone would relieve me and I'd go sleep for several hours. Without an extra set of hands here, I would not have been able to do that. Feeding around the clock or sleep training requires 100% attention and there was no time for napping during the night. If there was, it wasn't a good nap. We basically lived in pajamas around here for at least four months. We never took the babies out on errands or walks because when all was said and done, there was only about 30 minutes of spare time between feedings. Plus, back to my neurotic ways, I was terrified someone might get within five feet and breathe germs all over them.

Then the smiles came, the rolling over, the curiosity, the big eyes, the laughs, and the enjoyment. After getting them to sleep through the night, it was a whole different ball game. Although our help had all left and we were on our own, things were so much more manageable with a good night of sleep.

I think it's safe to say (for me at least) that having ONE baby with severe reflux was FAR more difficult than having three babies in general. I'll never forget me and Zachary crying together after I'd worked so hard to get a few ounces in him and then him projectile vomiting all over. I've never dealt with that type of frustration and feelings of defeat in my whole life. Because I was dealing with it four times a day, everyday. It took a long time for me to come to grips with the fact that he is just a DIFFERENT human being with different metabolism and a different body. I tended to cluster the babies and expected them all to do everything the same. He will likely just be slim his whole life.

Having the trio experience their individual stranger and separation anxiety has been interesting. I wonder sometimes if having just one baby would make me more sympathetic of the behavior. For some reason though, when two babies are playing fine and the third is having a freak out because I've left the room or crying because we have a strange visitor, I get impatient and wonder why the third can't behave like the others. Again, I have to remind myself over and over and over that these are three DIFFERENT individuals. I need to appreciate their separate needs, fears, and personalities.

Once the babies transitioned to two naps a day (around eight months), I felt like life became so much simpler. That along with when the babies dropped their bedtime bottle (10 months). I like those transitions when all the sudden everything seems more streamlined. We had more spare time between naps and went out everyday to do something. Walks or swinging at the park in the morning then somewhere else in the afternoon. Often times we'd return home and I'd be covered in sweat from all the loading/unloading/stroller lifting/etc... but it was ALWAYS worth it. Lots of people would say, "I'd never leave the house if I had triplets!" or "I'd scream all day with three babies around!" For MY sanity though...we made sure to leave the house everyday. Rain or shine. One morning we went on a walk in the pouring rain because I don't like missing a day outside. It was actually kind of refreshing!

When everyone finally learned to crawl, it was such a great transition for me. I didn't lift the babies nearly as much because they could just follow me to the dinner table or the bath tub. That didn't mean they weren't crying the whole way there but at least we were all moving. I just can't wait until they can all hop up in the car by themselves and lock themselves in their seats.

Clark is an amazing Dad. He loves wrestling with the kids and making them laugh until they cry. He loves building towers for them and helping them learn new things. He loves including them in his morning routine or in his projects outside. As nervous as he was to have kids, he has been one of my greatest teachers. This has been a busy year at work for him and he has excelled more than ever. I'm just so proud of him...and of us. We had NO idea what to expect with three babies and we're just happy to have survived!

I definitely wouldn't say that this first year has been extraordinarily difficult. That's me talking in hindsight though. The babies sleep well and leave lots of time in the evenings for Clark and I to relax. This year has had it challenges and ups and downs. I'd say it was more physically demanding than anything. I have a feeling that the next couple years are going to be more emotionally/mentally demanding. I think I'm up for the challenge. Like I've said before, anything is easier than lying in a hospital bed.

So here's my top three triplet survival tips for the first year:

Don't think about the money. If anyone knows me they know that I am VERY VERY frugal. Probably more extreme than most people. If I had actually sat down and thought about all the dollars we were spending on diapers and formula, I would've gone crazy.

Just get up and go. Sometimes you can start to feel bad that you didn't have the 'normal first time mother' experience. So all that means is just get up and go do the things you would normally do! Go to the park, swing, go on walks, go to playdates, go to the library, etc... Obviously improvisation is necessary and it is A LOT of work, but get up and go to feel normal. I don't feel that I've missed out on anything had I just had one baby (except for maybe storytime at the library because they want you to keep your baby in your lap at all times...ya right).

Join a support group. It sounds weird and maybe you aren't that type of person. But there is nothing like having a conversation with someone else who has multiples. Just a deeper level of understanding and empathy. NO ONE understands better than someone else who is going or gone through the same thing.

Ya...our whole pregnancy/birth/NICU experience cost half a million dollars. Amazing how fast things add up and amazing what a difference insurance makes. We're charging interest though and expecting a full pay back from the kids by the time they are 18 years old. :)



PART II: BIRTHDAY FUN!