Potty training
attempt number one has come and gone.
I'm the type of person that when I get an idea in my head, I can't sit on it. I have to carry it through right away. Even if it's returning something to the store, which I know can be done at anytime, I still feel urgency and get in the car as soon as possible. We were planning on working with Leah in a few weeks but a friend emailed the 'Lora Jensen 3 Day Method' for potty training and I was totally convinced to do it right away. So I went out the next day and got all the stuff and started.
The whole premise of the method is that if your child is over 22 months old, they are trainable and will be fully trained in three days if you follow the method EXACTLY. You throw all your diapers away and never turn back. Not even for naps or bedtime. Another important premise of the method is no sitting on the potty
for long periods of time to 'try' and not asking them if they need to
go. Therefore handing over control to them. The author said that kids want to be in control of these situations. I mean, this method has been featured on Good Morning America and has rave reviews. I was totally on board. You basically keep your child right by your side for three days and rush them to the bathroom every time they are in the middle of an accident. I knew this method was right up my alley since I'm pretty obsessive compulsive and don't do anything casually. I was geared up and ready to follow Leah around(much to her annoyance). What I didn't realize, however, is that each time I was rushing Leah to the bathroom it was like a panic/startling experience for her which is definitely not up her alley. I tried to remain calm and positive even though it was a messy ordeal but even with some reassurance, it was still startling. She likes plans, schedules, preparation, advance warning etc...
The first day she tolerated these panic attacks and the second day she was totally resistant. She did not want to leave her toys (for good reason...being a multiple means hold on to your stuff or lose it) or what she was playing with just to go pee. The second morning she held her pee for almost four hours!! I kept talking to her and following my guidelines...letting her run the show and taking control. But let's be honest, when have my kids EVER had control in their short little lives. All the sudden Leah gets a little power and let me tell you, she ran with it. Not only was she resisting the training, she was refusing to take naps or go to sleep, she was being defiant and disobedient, and was SOOOOOO emotional, especially before bedtime. Clark said he didn't realize how emotional potty training was going to be! Neither did I. The book said you should not discipline or scold your child during potty training. It should be a happy experience. However, I think that's why she starting acting out! She had control and no consequences.
We were kind of excited to train one kid at a time because that hasn't really been a luxury for us. Do something with the first kid, learn from it, and change/adapt for the next. We have one chance to do everything because all the kids are in the same stage at the same time. So with potty training, we always thought we'd do them all together but like the idea of having a second chance if something didn't work. Boy it did not work. I think a lot of it was I had NO idea what to expect. I was not prepared emotionally or physically for how challenging this process is. Of course I romanticized it a little and said our kids will be potty trained in three days, no problem! By day five at 3pm, Leah had one success out of eight. I think percentages should be a bit higher at that point especially after using the Lora Jensen method. So I gave her a bath, put the potty away, and put her back in diapers. I have never been so relieved to see a diaper on her again! Yeah maybe five days was too early to quit but again, I could not have imagined doing another day of all the drama and clean up. Leah never even asked about her underwear, stickers, treats (she was bribed with freeze-dried strawberries since she refuses to eat any candy), or the potty. It was like it never happened. So weird.
Another big thing we learned about Leah is that although she loves to be a leader, show everyone how to do things, and be involved in everything, she does not like to be a pioneer. She doesn't like to be the first to try something or do it alone. She is a social creature as most girls are but I saw how it affected her potty training. It would have been so much more exciting for her if one of her brothers was doing it with her, running to the bathroom, celebrating, etc... That's how her whole life has been. Doing everything with her brothers. I think she felt isolated and pressured which may have been the reason for all the emotions.
Anyway, I'm probably reading way far into all this but for a two-year-old, this is a huge change. So I had to swallow my pride and say it wasn't working. I don't know if it was the method, personality, or social aspect for her, but I do know I'll be much more mentally prepared to follow through and stick it out next time. And I will definitely NOT be doing away with discipline during the process. That was a mistake. Just have to find out what works for her.
What a little bugger.
Does anyone out there have a child like Leah and used a potty training method that worked?
